Give yourself permission to expand…
I’ve gone through a huge amount of personal change and transformation in the last 15 years, but this last year has been filled with more hard truths, shifts and up levelling experiences than any other.
Transformation is a challenging and intricate process. One that comes without a manual or clear understanding of the direction you’re heading … It is a series of subtle intuitive messages, changes in preferences and honest self-inquiry that leads us from one version of reality to new more expansive experience.
The process begins with a strong sense that you need to let go of something that no longer fits. What was comfortable becomes uncomfortable and what was “normal” starts to feel foreign.
But how do we support ourselves while riding these waves? How do we find the courage to make the necessary changes and come out the other side feeling grounded and strong in a new version of ourselves?
1. Stay curious – As we start to notice our preferences change or that people and situations no longer serve us the way they used to, this is an invitation to be curious about how the new way of doing things can look. Observe how you feel when you consider the small steps leading up to a major change. Talk to like minded and supportive friends who align to the new direction you are being drawn to. Start slowly and continue gently.
2. Let go of guilt – This is so important. When we start to consider any big personal shift, we can often experience feelings of guilt associated with “letting people down” because our actions are often intertwined in personal relationships. Whether it’s the deep knowing that a relationship no longer serves you, or a job that is no longer satisfying or you just don’t want to go out and get drunk anymore…don’t let your mind get caught up in the guilt that comes along with YOU wanting to change. You can’t control how others feel, but you can set an example of how to honour your self worth, which will ultimately help them on their journey.
3. Self care – Transformation can often be partnered with irritability, low energy, frustration and unease while we work out what changes need to take place and how to build up the courage to take the necessary steps. Instead of going down an over thinking spiral, turn your focus to self care. Go for that bush walk, buy that Aesop body lotion, meet that friend for coffee or get that massage. The small steps we take to make ourselves feel more at home and calm will go a long way in aiding any transformation. Another form of self care is setting healthy boundaries around key relationships with people we love that may not be on the same path. Being mindful to spend more time in supportive relationships is essential to move through change with ease.
4. Choose intuition over conditioning – There is a fire inside each and every one of us. That fire has a voice and when we really listen to it, it gets louder. It has all the answers we seek. Notice that when we act from a place of intuition is has a certain flavour or charm. When we act from a place of conditioning it feels overly familiar, and like we are going against the grain. Conditioning keeps us stuck. Intuition sets us free.
5. Go inward – Meditate, write, spend time in nature, surf….however you access your inner calm, make this part of your daily routine. Prioritise it and honour it.
Instead of heading into the new year feeling like you have something to resolve, try shifting your focus to setting new intentions for growth. What do you want to invite in next year? Who do you want to show up as and how do you want to feel?
Have the courage to outgrow what is keeping you stuck and give yourself permission to expand.